Sunshine Award + BOOK GIVEAWAY!!

Thanks so much to Linda McMann, my bloggy friend who passed on The Sunshine Award to me. This award is a "lovely sunny flower that bloggers give to other bloggers who positively and creatively inspire others in the blogosphere."


Check out Linda's blog HERE. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BOOK GIVEAWAY
It's time once again for me to do a book giveaway. I've been reading quite a bit lately, and would like to pass a few of my YA books on to YOU!

Easy To Enter:
1. Be a Follower of this blog.
2. Comment below, and it's very helpful if you say which book you'd like to win!
3. Enter the random drawing by midnight PST by Tuesday, June 4, 2013.
4. Winners will be announced Wednesday, June 5, 2013.
4. Sorry, no international entries. I'll offer a chapter critique for anyone not in the US.

THE BOOKS

1. TOUCH by Jus Accardo, paperback

When a strange boy tumbles down a river embankment and lands at her feet, 17-year-old adrenaline junkie Deznee Cross snatches the opportunity to piss off her father by bringing the mysterious hottie with ice blue eyes home.

Except there’s something off with Kale. He wears her shoes in the shower, is overly fascinated with things like DVDs, and acts like she’ll turn to dust if he touches her. It’s not until Dez’s father shows up, wielding a gun and knowing more about Kale than he should, that Dez realizes there’s more to this boy--and her father’s “law firm”--than she realized.

Kale has been a prisoner of Denazen Corporation--an organization devoted to collecting “special” kids known as Sixes and using them as weapons--his entire life. And his touch? It kills. The two team up with a group of rogue Sixes bent on taking down Denazen before they’re caught and her father discovers the biggest secret of all. A secret Dez has spent her life keeping safe. A secret Kale will kill to protect.



2. UNDER THE NEVER SKY by Veronica Rossi, hardback

This book follows the character of Aria, a 17-year-old girl that has been exiled from Reverie, the city of her home, due to a fire that takes the lives of her best friend and two other boys. This punishment is almost certain death, outside of her enclosed city is a wasteland known as the Death Shop. It's a place filled with cannibals and terrible storms. Even the air can kill her, so when she meets Outsider Perry, she knows that he's her own chance for survival.

Despite his reluctance to take in a sheltered girl from Reverie, Perry knows that Aria has the potential to help him redeem himself. The two must learn how to work together if they are to survive, and find out things they never thought possible.





3. SHIFTER by Janice Hardy, hardback

A dangerous secret. A deadly skill.

Nya is an orphan struggling for survival in a city crippled by war. She is also a Taker--with her touch, she can heal injuries, pulling pain from another person into her own body. But unlike her sister, Tali, and the other Takers who become Healers, Nya's skill is flawed: she can't push that pain into pynvium, the enchanted metal used to store it. All she can do is shift it into another person, a dangerous skill that she must keep hidden. If discovered, she could be used as a human weapon.

But one day Nya pushes her luck too far and exposes her secret to a pain merchant eager to use her shifting ability for his own sinister purposes. She refuses--until Tali and other League Healers start mysteriously disappearing. Now Nya must decide: How far will she go to get Tali back alive?



4. ORIGIN by Jessica Khoury, hardback

The jungle hides a girl who cannot die.

An electrifying action-romance that's as thoughtful as it is tragic.

Pia has grown up in a secret laboratory hidden deep in the Amazon rain forest. She was raised by a team of scientists who have created her to be the start of a new immortal race. But on the night of her seventeenth birthday, Pia discovers a hole in the electric fence that surrounds her sterile home--and sneaks outside the compound for the first time in her life.

Free in the jungle, Pia meets Eio, a boy from a nearby village. Together, they embark on a race against time to discover the truth about Pia's origin--a truth with deadly consequences that will change their lives forever.



YOUR TURN
Have you been finding time to read books lately?
If you're entering and have a preference, which book would you like to win?
Which one of these awesome covers do you like best? Have you read these books?

Questions for Your Manuscript

NOTE! Don't forget, as listed on my sidebar, I offer 250-word critiques on this blog. Can be posted anonymously or with your name. Send your sample pasted in an email to artzicarol [at] gmail [dot] com. It can be a little over 250 words in order to finish a sentence. Discover what I (and others) suggest about how to make your opening page stronger!
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Your Writing Journey
Wherever you are in your writing journey, there are questions to ponder before it reaches public eyes. Here's a short (?) list of things to watch out for. Seriously ask yourself these questions, or pose them to your critique partners to apply to your manuscript.

ASK YOURSELF:
Characters
1. Is your main character someone a reader wants to spend the entire novel with? Is he/she interesting…relatable…likeable?   
2. Are the supporting characters, especially best friends, fleshed out? Do they have likes, dislikes, motivations, lives beyond the page? Why does your main character hang out with his/her friends--what do they have in common?
3. If the villain or antagonist is a person (rather than circumstances or self), does he or she have motivations for evil behavior? Are they rounded rather than mustache-twirling stereotypes?
4. What is your main character's goal? What does he or she want? (This can shift and morph) Will it change MC's life if the goal is not met--are there consequences?
5. Does your character change throughout? Can you look at him/her at the end, and truly say he/she is a different person from the beginning? What has he/she learned?
6. Is there emotional resonance? Do your characters feel deeply and cause the reader to feel deeply?

Setting, Theme, Hook
1. Does the location of your story complement your genre/novel style? Does it make it nicely more complex and layered?
2. Does the time of year you've set the story matter? Does the weather affect your characters' lives and decisions? (it doesn't have to, but it can provide an added dimension)
3. Is there a universal theme--true love conquers all, sacrificing for others, navigating romance while staying true to one's self, showing courage despite fear, etc.? What nugget of truth can readers take away?
4. Is your storyline unique? It needs a hook, a draw. What makes your story different from everything else out there, and why should a reader spend HOURS reading your book?
5. Have you begun the novel intriguingly, rather than with backstory, explanations, and preparatory set-ups?

Pacing
1. Is your forward momentum strong--is there a compelling urge for the reader to stay up past bedtime and finish?
2. Are there surprising twists, things that are logical but unexpected?
3. Have you avoided the "middle doldrums," the saggy mid-point in which nothing develops or changes? Are your conflicts and tensions taut throughout? 
4. Do your chapters always end on low notes or at the end of the scene--or have you spiced things up by ending in mid-scene and mid-action at the end of some chapters?
5. Have you varied your highs and lows, causing the quieter scenes to make the action ones feel more intense? (even thrillers often have "down times" to refresh the reader)
6. Does the main character's problems escalate and get worse as the story progresses?

The End
1. Have you wrapped up all the questions and loose ends? Does it feel finished, satisfying? (even with a series, it's important to tie up main or crucial plot points)
2. Is the ending logical, with no contrived twist that solves everything? Has the main character solved the problems, or has someone or something else solved them? (the villain's death, a cataclysmic event, a parent or boyfriend)
3. Is your last paragraph/sentence strong, since that's the thing the reader will see and remember?

YOUR TURN
Do you run your novels or stories through questions like this?
When do you ask these kinds of questions--at the beginning, the end, or throughout?
When you critique others' manuscripts, do you use a list like this?


 

TEST Your Writing Skills

How strong are your writing skills? These days more than ever, it's important to polish your manuscript--which includes an absence of spelling, punctuation, and grammar errors. Agents and editors have less time to spend on editing. Even if you're self-publishing, you don't want to present an error-riddled book to the world.

Consider your strength or weakness in this area. Try to learn WHY things are correct or incorrect; that will help you remember the rules and apply them to your writing. If grammar isn't your strength, it may be helpful to have a sharp-eyed critique partner on hand--or hire a professional editor. In the long run, it's worth it.

TEST YOUR SKILLS
Can you spot the errors in these sentences? I've offered this kind of test before, but I can't stress how important it is to sharpen your writing. Don't feel bad if you get some wrong--look at it as a learning experience. To make it trickier, THREE of these are CORRECT. (heehee)

1. Tiger Bell's soft, warm fur under my fingertips soothes me.
2. Three pair of pants hung on the line, swinging in the summer breeze.
3. "Your in big trouble," said Merle. "I told you not to kick that door."
4. Absorbed in the loud, catchy beat of my song, it was hard to tell when grandpa started talking to me.
5. Sean laughs, and the tension in my shoulders eases a bit.
6. She snapped her fingers. "Are you going to stand there all day, boy?!"
7. Its a great day to go to the park, and no one can stop me.
8. To make a recipe properly, you must measure the ingredients with care.
9. What if Mom or Dad catch me sneaking a cookie from the kitchen?
10. David wants the person who's interested in his car to leave their phone number.
11. The cost of apples have doubled since last winter's drought.
12. Yesterday I just laid around reading a book and drinking tea.  
13. I could care less about whether she invited me to her stupid party.
14. If everyone would just stop talking, they could hear what I'm saying!
15. "Be quiet," she snapped. "There trying really hard to get a good score."

ANSWERS
1. This is a correct sentence. Fur soothes. The phrase "under my fingertips" merely describes fur and is not part of the noun-verb agreement.
2. Three pairs. More than one pair are hanging on the line.
3. Your should be you're. You are in trouble. The apostrophe means a letter has been left out; in this case it's the "a" in are.
4. Dangling modifier. The intro phrase (up to the second comma) must immediately be followed by the person doing the action. You'd have to say: Absorbed in the loud, catchy beat of my song, I couldn't tell when grandpa started talking to me.
5. This is a correct sentence. Tension eases. Ignore prepositional phrases like "in my shoulders" when you're figuring out noun-verb agreements.
6. Delete the exclamation mark and use the question mark (since it's a question). Never use more than one form of punctuation at the end of a sentence.
7. Its should be it's: It is a great day. The apostrophe means the "i" has been left out.
8. This is a correct sentence. You would NOT say "to properly make a recipe," because that would split the verb/infinitive phrase "to make." Although it seems splitting infinitives is becoming way less grammatically important these days.
9. Should be catches, because Mom or Dad is singular. Mom and Dad would be plural: What if Mom and Dad catch me sneaking a cookie from the kitchen?
10. Person is singular. So it should be: to leave his phone number. Or her number.
11. The cost has. It's the cost that has doubled, not the apples. Ignore prepositional phrases like "of apples."
12. Should be yesterday I lay around, as the past tense of lie (to recline). Laid means "to place"--people can't "to place" themselves. They RECLINE.
13. I couldn't care less. Could care less would mean the person does, in fact, care.
14. Everyone is singular. So it would match with he or she rather than they. Yeah--which sounds really weird! That's why we always get this wrong.
15. They're trying, not there. See that apostrophe in they're? It means something is missing; in this case it's the "a" from they are--they are trying really hard.

YOUR TURN
How did you do on this test? Did you learn anything new?
Do you have critique partners who are sharp and catch the things you don't?
Have you ever used a professional editorial service to sharpen your manuscript before sending it off to an agent or editor, or before self-publishing?

Wonderful Tech: READERS

Note: This month my next post will be on the 4th Wednesday rather than the 3rd.

Reading Your Manuscript
It's always helpful when finishing up a manuscript to read it aloud. Not silently--aloud. It's amazing how many mistakes you can catch. Typos, odd flow, strange rhythms, repeated words. I try to read aloud through a manuscript when revising, before querying, or handing off a final manuscript to my critique partner or agent. It takes a good part of a day or two to read through a novel, but it's worth it. The trouble is, my throat gets quite sore and raspy by the time I'm done.

NaturalReader
On Facebook, Terri Tiffany (thanks, Terri!!!) posted this weekend about using a voice reader application called NaturalReader for checking/editing a manuscript. I'd thought about using a voice reader before, but since I'm a diehard technophobe, I hadn't ever tried anything. But I followed Terri's link and scouted around the site. It looked pretty easy. They even had a FREE version with only one (female) voice, so I downloaded it to my desktop and installed it. It's easy to use! Just paste in a paragraph or chapter, and click Play. Even I can handle that.

The free version stops every so often and asks if you want to upgrade, but you can just click Later and continue on your merry (and FREE) way. The lowest paid version is $49, and has a choice of voices as well as other options like converting to MP3. Even with the free version, you can set the speed of the voice. I bumped mine slower than the default, to -2 or -3. The general flow isn't perfect, and it sounds quite electronic in places, but on the whole it works great and I'm happy to save my voice! I can even get up from my desk and stretch while I listen, or close my eyes to rest them. (Oddly, it actually sounds better and more natural when I close my eyes.)

I have to laugh when the app reads words like wind and object. Usually the voice says the wrong pronunciation for the meaning I want. It's amusing.

Voice Readers and Links
Some of these readers can even be put on your mobile, iPad, or other devices.
1. NaturalReader: HERE. Bottom of the page lists diffs between free & paid versions.
[Also available free for Mac; click on Free Version for Mac words on left margin: HERE]
2. Voice Dream: HERE  I haven't tried this one, but others use it.
3. Dragon: HERE (Highly accurate dictation; has a moderate learning curve.)
4. Microsoft Office--has a text to voice program available. If you're techy and adventurous, you can find directions how to access it by visiting youtube or the Microsoft Office site for the version you have. I tried to follow some youtube directions, but the speech program wasn't listed on my options menu and I gave up. *shrug*

I've also heard Kindle Fires read things aloud to you. Aren't we writers lucky to live in today's advanced tech world?

YOUR TURN
Do you usually read your manuscript aloud to yourself to check for flow and errors?
Have you ever tried a voice reader? What's been your experience?
If you have a Kindle Fire, does it read to you, and do you use that feature?

Revision and Remodeling

I've decided writing and revising a novel is a lot like buying and remodeling a house. Here's a comparison from my own life lately, based on my novel SHAPERS and the house my hubby and I just bought here in sunny ol' California.

Initial Stuff
SHAPERS: Wrote rough draft, mid-Feb to mid-May of 2010. Yep, 2.5 months.
HOUSE: Searched from mid-July 2012 to mid-October 2012. Yep, 3 months.

False Start
SHAPERS: Met interested editor at SCBWI conference; tweaked and sent off. Crickets.
HOUSE: Put in offer on a house on 1/4 acre built in 1972, 2000 sq. ft.; offer accepted and then house was taken off market due to odd legalities.

Trying Again
SHAPERS: Tweaked more, sent to agents: 2 requested fulls but ended up rejecting. Met the lovely Kelly Sonnack at SCBWI retreat in Oct. 2010, who requested full.
HOUSE: Found another house and made offer that fell through 'cuz they didn't accept VA loans. Found a lovely purple tri-level built in 1990 with 1668 sq. ft. on 1/4 acre.

The ONE!
SHAPERS: Call with Kelly in April 2011; she offered representation! Signed contract.
HOUSE: Put in offer on the tri-level mid-Oct. 2012; it was accepted! Started escrow.

Revision and Remodeling 
SHAPERS: Kelly's editorial notes: Boost romance, get closer to 80K words from 63K, fix "empty" villain, change the ENTIRE ENDING (gak!), slash a coupla scenes, etc.
HOUSE: Projects: Remove red/green chair railing, take down hugeous red/green shelves in living room, paint over the light GREEN living room walls (gak!), take down flat PLAID valances, remove door molding chewed on by a dog, etc.

Living room BEFORE, with old owner's belongings. Cluttered! Ugleee carpet.

Not…Quite…There
SHAPERS: Sept. 2011. MC still "felt distant." Kelly suggested switching from 3rd to 1st person POV. Gulp. Extra surprise: I decided didn't sound right in past tense anymore, and changed the novel to present tense. Did 2 line-edits + minor changes in 2012.
HOUSE: After we moved in: That ugleee stained and worn carpet just had to go. Went with oak hardwood laminate. Extra surprise: With the carpet up, we discovered the sliding glass door had been leaking…had to replace the door, too.

2013 Final (?) Touches
SHAPERS: Made MC less snarky/insensitive, with less selfish goals. Boosted sci-fi worldbuilding elements. Fleshed out 2 minor characters, toned down another one.
HOUSE: Bought area rug and curtains for living room. Found awesome impressionistic-looking valance for kitchen at a thrift store for $7. Painted my office. Hung pictures.

Living room, AFTER. Less cluttered, hardwood laminate flooring.

Living room AFTER. I've since lowered the highwater curtains! :)

Whew. Are we there yet? Perhaps not, but I'm getting WAY closer on both, and really liking the changes. Special thanks to my CP Lynda Young for continuing to gruel along with me while I shape up SHAPERS, and Michael Di Gesu for sharing interior decorating tips for my new house!!

BEFORE AND AFTER:
SHAPERS: Guess you'll have to wait to see. I hope you get to read it someday!
HOUSE: Photos in this post…my new writing office is below. I love it!

My writing spot, where Words Happen. Includes assorted dragons and sewing machine.

Guest bed side. Includes ballerina I drew eons ago, my bear Woofie, and the quilt I  made.

YOUR TURN:
Have you had to revise and revise, like I have? Is your manuscript getting stronger?
Have you remodeled a house and shaped it up the way you wanted it--or do you have ongoing or future projects you'd still like to tackle?

Writing THE Scene

THE Scene
In every book, there is a scene that is THE scene. You know, that big moment where something momentous happens. You write along, you anticipate this scene for pages and pages--and you know you'd like to write it extremely well when you get there. It has to sound and be perfect. Right? This big scene is often found near the end of the story, at the climax, but not always.

Examples include:
1. When some major secret is revealed
2. When the danger escalates or reaches an all-time high
3. When two characters realize they're in love, or a tender romance scene
4. When the story takes a surprising twist--a whoa!! turn of events
5. When a new character is introduced (especially if he/she is the romantic interest)
6. When the villain finally gets the protagonist in his/her clutches, mwuah-haha
7. When there's a joyful reunion between two characters who've been apart
8. When one of your characters is severely injured or dies
9. When there's a crucial fight or battle scene
10. When the main character's world dissolves (literally or figuratively, depending on your genre) or becomes much more problematic

Multiple THE Scenes
Books can have more than one THE scene. These are the big moments where any of the above things (or similar things) happen. I personally like to have many scenes like this throughout the novel, to some degree or another, not just near the ending or climax. These are those "ta-DAH!" moments that I often place at the end of a chapter ending for a cliffhanger effect. I think they add spice as well a compelling tension to the story.

How Do You React?
Since we want that THE scene to be so incredibly awesome, to match the intensity and emotion that we want to impart into those words, it's often a very troubling scene to write. We approach this scene with excitement…yet sweaty palms. Fear, and trembling. We can suddenly be seized by an unexplainable urge to catch up on our social networking or color coordinate our linen closets. Or most likely, a mixed-up combination of all of these things. When we finally reach that point in your manuscript, it can feel very surreal!

Tips for Writing THE Scene
1. Know you can always change the scene later and improve it. Rah for revision!
2. I turn OFF my inner editor (more than usual) and write on more of an emotional level. I throw the sentences out there willy nilly, in almost a stream of consciousness way. Usually that makes the rhythm of the passage sound much more natural than if I try to ponder reactions at length, or plot out short vs. long sentences, etc.
3. Similarly, let your adverbs and adjectives flow. Throw a lot of them out there. Really. Then you can go back and pick the strongest adjectives later, and eliminate adverbs by replacing them with more unique (and less Telling) ways to say something.
4. Use music or photos to help get into the mood of the scene.
5. Watch movies or read books with similar dramatic scenes to get ideas about reactions, focus, settings, mood, clothing, visual placements, fight moves, sounds, smells, etc.
6. Choose a time and day where you have a decent block of time and aren't rushed (yeah, I know--easier said than done).
7. Jot down snippets of phrasings, descriptions, and dialogue ahead of time to make the scene less daunting. Put these in a separate file or document for when you need it.
8. Understate rather than overstate the emotions. Often it's more impactful to read of a character who has a few tears or is holding back tears, rather than torrents. An excess of grief, shouting, anxiety, fear, etc. in a scene can backfire and actually induce the opposite--creating a sense of detachment in the reader.
9. Write out a brief outline of the scene first. Nothing complex, just a list of things you want to be sure to accomplish as you write.

YOUR TURN 
How do you feel when you get to THE scene in your book--excited or nervous?
Do you find it difficult to get across the emotion/impact you want in a major scene?
What is THE scene that you're anticipating writing in your own work? Is it one of the examples listed above, or something completely different?

Writing About Weather

When Art and Weather Coincide
The other day I was writing on my WIP/work in progress, and even though it was summer in the novel, I had a scene where it was raining. (Yes, since my novel is set in Oregon, that's perfectly normal for summer weather.) And coincidentally as I was writing, it was raining outside. Perfect mood setter! I could directly check out sounds, feelings, smells, and other perceptions.

…And When They Collide
On the other hand, one summer I remember it being meltingly hot in my office, and I had to write a scene where my character was scurrying along a road feeling really cold. I've also experienced when it's been winter and I've had to write a scene where summer sweat is dripping off my main character. Those things really stretched my imagination! It's almost like your body has to be in a different place than your mind. Aren't writers wonderfully versatile?

If you're writing an opposite (or regular) scene, here are some suggestions for doing so:

Ideas/Aids for Writing Weather
1. Dredge your memories for when you really were in similar weather as your scene: pouring rain, freezing cold, blistering heat. How did you feel? What did it smell like? Taste like, look like? Sound like?
2. Do a websearch for "free nature sounds" and connect with your scene's weather sounds. It will often put you in a mood or frame of mind that is conducive to your scene--and may give you exact sounds to describe. Check out the site called Calmsound, for instance, HERE. There are free snippets plus entire nature CDs to purchase (such as Nature Sounds) that include a country garden, the seaside, a desert at night, etc.  
3. Connect with mood-related music to give you ideas and set your atmosphere. For instance, are you writing a storm scene? Try dramatic music with cymbals and drums, like classical music or a movie soundtrack. Are you writing a beautiful sunset? Try slow, melodic flute music or violin music.
4. Read other novels or writings to see how other authors have handled a similar weather setting. The idea isn't to copy them, of course, but to see how they've described the subject. Can you see/feel/sense the scene in a very real way? Study their methods and apply.

YOUR TURN
Have you ever tried to write a scene where the weather was OPPOSITE?
Have you ever written a scene where it was stormy weather--just like in real life?
Do you ever listen to nature sounds (or music) to heighten the writing of a setting or scene?

Photo taken by myself at Yaquina Bay, Oregon coast, 2009.

Writing Unreasonableness

A few weeks ago when my husband and I moved into our new house, the furnace wasn't working so we built fires in the wood stove. I found myself singing the song written by Shel Silverstein, called "Put Another Log on the Fire."

So naturally I thought about this man, this clueless character who's singing the song. And I pondered what other characters might think of him, and how they'd react. Check out these lyrics:

PUT ANOTHER LOG ON THE FIRE
by Shel Silverstein
sung by Waylon Jennings & Tompall Glaser

Put another log on the fire
Cook me up some bacon and some beans
Go out to the car and change the tire
Wash my socks and sew my old blue jeans.

Come on baby, you can fill my pipe and then go fetch my slippers
And boil me up another pot of tea
Then put another log on the fire, babe
And come and tell me why you're leaving me.

Now don't I let you wash the car on Sunday
Don't I warn you when you're gettin' fat
Ain't I a gonna take you fishin' with me someday
Well, a man can't love a woman more than that.

Ain't I always nice to your kid sister
Don't I take her driving every night
So sit here at my feet 'cause I like you when you're sweet
And you know it ain't feminine to fight.

So put another log on the fire…

The link to this song if you want to hear it--is HERE.
 
Showing and Not Telling
If such a character were found in a novel, this song (probably as dialogue) would be a perfect example of showing and not telling about his personality. His chauvinistic, unreasonable, clueless words say it all. There's no need for another character or the narration (i.e., the author) to label him that way. The lines end up conveying exactly the opposite of what is being said, even though the man in question seems to believe it wholeheartedly.

Character Viewpoints
What's nice about this example is that we can get a glimpse of this man's inner reasoning and viewpoints. It gives reasons--even if seen as obnoxious to others--why he thinks the way he does. For instance, fishing is a wonderful thing in his eyes, and he's offering to take his woman with him on a fishing trip (or at least he claims that intent). What sacrifice and devotion! And his idea of femininity is a docile woman, one who works hard to make his life comfortable, one who doesn't complain. He sees a man as being the "king of his castle."

Conflict
Obviously, this man and his woman have opposing personalities, goals, and intentions. He's expecting her to continue to wait upon him hand and foot, and she's finally fed up with it. This is an excellent opportunity for conflict at the point of change. They have opposing viewpoints and goals. The clash makes for good writing and reading material.

YOUR TURN
Have you heard this song before, or read Shel Silverstein's Where The Sidewalk Ends?
Do you think this is a caricature or are some people really this earnestly chauvinistic?
Have you written an unreasonable character, and were you able to Show rather than Tell that quality?